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North Pole Dominick: Closure
Apr 22, 2004 09: 12 EST
Published April 2, 04.
A mail from Mika, a Finn living in USA, arrived posing a question that's on everybody's mind now:
"I am saddened by the news of no sign of Dominick having been found. I do wish that your site could publish a recap on the events of her trek, as far as they’re known, and report as to how long it is likely that she could or could not have survived with the food and equipment she took. Is there any chance at all that she’d turn up at the pole? Probably not…but it is of human nature to hope, to dream…and to persevere."
Yes Mika. Although the main objective of the search was to make sure that Dom had not survived, we all secretly hoped, deep in our hearts, that we would find her alive. Yet this is one miracle that didn't happen.
So what are the chances now? Dominick had with her supplies for around 18 days. She has now been gone for almost a full month. There is still the fact that we have found no proof of her death. The indications are however grave: Dead communications, little if any supplies left and a very scrupulous search for her in the past two days.
The signs point to an early accident. Dominick went out her second day, fell through thin ice, and drowned. That explains the weak Argos signal, the disappearance of her tracks in ice rubble, and lack of phone calls home thereafter. The indications were there already from the start, especially with Frederic's just barely escaping death in the same area and in similar circumstances.
The point was that hints are not enough, and a thorough search, based on possible survival had not been conducted. It's dangerous to jump to conclusions too fast and without proof. But at the end of the day, when we have done all we could to find her and found no trace of her, there is a point when we too must give up.
Perhaps Dominic's sled and kayak will float ashore somewhere at the Arctic peninsula with the arrival of summer and melting ice. Perhaps she will disappear for good, remaining forever an Arctic Ocean enigma. Sometimes we are granted the answers, and sometimes we are left with the questions.
Dominick never made it to the pole, and perhaps even died early, but she touched us all and offered us a chance to know our own actions and choices in difficult times: How fast are we to quit on one another? Is our glass half full, or half empty? How much will money, and self justifiement cloud our judgments? And how strong are we in the face of criticism, negative media and tough resistance from people with their own agendas?
I don't think Dominick suffered. When I skied to the North Pole, I too fell through the ice. Tom, my husband, had been injured and partially paralyzed. I had made camp and put him in the tent. Distressed, I went back for his sled and didn't wear my skies or a dry suit. Suddenly, I found myself in the cold, black water.
At first, it didn't feel too bad. Bewildered, I tried to grasp what had happened. But then my boots filled up, and my clothes. The water sneaked into my every pore and the cold clutched my skin like jaws of ice. I tried to get up, but the ice broke away with my every effort. Finally, I didn't have any strength left. I realized I was about to die. And now the strangest feeling entered: I felt completely calm. I thought of Kohno, who had died on the ice too, and I thought to myself; "so this is how he felt". And then I thought, "you know this is not bad. This is a good way to die".
But then I remembered something else. My husband. Whom I love more than myself. I pictured how he would eventually crawl out from the tent, and his horror when he found me iced up in the lead. I realized I just couldn't do that to him. With that, I somehow found a strength I can't explain, and I pulled myself up.
In the end, the facts, the when's and the why's are all unimportant - including death. A polar expedition is nothing but a test, much like life itself. Dominick's last words to her fellow team mates when she decided to try to go all the way were: "I want a real expedition, not this x%&*ing bullshit!" When it's my turn to go, I hope that my last words will be something similar to that.
My name is Tina Sjogren and I skied to the North Pole unsupported from Canada with my Husband Thomas in 2002. Tom and I are also founders of ExplorersWeb.
Image of the author on the Arctic Ocean, ExplorersWeb files.
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